Do they make hazmat beachwear?
1. This is you anytime you are forced to go to the beach.
2. You are the Queen O’ ‘Screen.
You’re always covered.
3. High SPFs get you REALLY excited.
Despite the fact that anything after SPF 30 pretty much does the same job.
4. In the summer, you’ve been known to walk around with a parasol. Or umbrella. You don’t care if it looks slightly crazy.
5. You can be fairly dramatic when it comes to securing a spot somewhere in the shade.
6. Any new way to get your SPF on intrigues you. Like a powder you can brush on?! What.
7. When people suggest an outdoor activity, your response can sometimes read like something from Dracula.
8. When you hear anything about “solar flares” on the news, you instinctively duck and shield yourself.
Just FYI, solar flares aren’t dangerous to humans. But still: SCARY FLAME WAVES!
9. You are used to the stares that come with your abnormally large sun hat.
10. And you are single-handedly bringing back the visor.
11. Music festivals make you very, very nervous.
12. You’ve long hoped for the day when science invents a pill that will offer you continuous protection.
Wait, is this for real? This looks sketch.
13. And articles like these really get your hopes up!
14. No matter how weird a new type of supposed sunscreen is, you’ll still research it.
The latest are these drops you put in water. Nice idea … but not buying it.
15. You are constantly worrying about getting a sunburn in the car.
16. It drives you absolutely insane when people don’t give you a 20 minute warning before having to leave the house/office.
Fox / Via media.giphy.com
You can’t just put the sunscreen on and step RIGHT INTO THE SUN. It needs to soak into the skin. Hello!
17. You’ve spent what seems to be a lifetime searching for the perfect daily moisturizer with SPF.
BTW, found it: It’s Josie Maran’s Argan Daily Moisturizer. Only problem is that it’s $32, which will become a new and dangerous monthly expense.
18. And actually, your personal care expenses skyrocket in the summer because you end up buying sunscreen each time you go to the drugstore.
19. Because you are constantly reapplying your sunblock.
20. In order for you to be OK with outdoor seating, an umbrella is an absolute requirement.
21. You’re so obsessed with protecting yourself from the sun, you’ve gone so far as to use UV indicators, which also do a great job of scaring the crap out of you.
This simple doo-dad from Kikkerland tells you when UV levels are dangerous.
22. But let’s just set one thing straight. It’s not that you don’t like summer. It’s just that you like to do it in the safest way possible.
Paramount / Via laughablegifs.tumblr.com
Brb, picking up my wearable beach tent from the dry cleaners.